Posts

Showing posts from July, 2020

Warrior Costume Updates!

Image
For those of you who have been seeing my updates on Twitter for about the past two weeks, you will have seen my current craft project which is a costume for an upcoming photoshoot. This project has come about from being very bored and my previous photoshoot reigniting my love for modelling and coordinating shoots. It is also stemmed from my partner watching Netflix’s “The Last Kingdom” and my love of all things historical (loosely inspired by, very, very loosely) My overall idea for the shoot and costume was warrior, with a shield and armour and some form of big weapon. I am a simple soul. First off, I started with the chest plate. Now, I’ve tried to make armour from EVA foam before and it was NOT successful (if you're based in the UK and looking for a foam supplier, I highly recommend https://www.poly-props.com/ Their prices are really good and the guys who run the company are lovely and doing a lot to help during the pandemic)  Because I know how bad I am, I decided to use a pre...

Why I Don't Present As Male

WHY I DON’T PRESENT AS “MALE” I came out as trans back in the summer of 2018 after about a year of questioning my gender and a lifetime of feeling disconnected from my femininity. Until I saw a friend post on their Facebook about being trans, I didn't know I could just change my gender. I didn’t think I was trans enough. I wore dresses, I’d had a baby, I liked having long hair, I liked feminine things. I am now 100% sure I want to transition and for me, that includes surgery and hormones. I am on an eighteen to a thirty-six-month waiting list for my local Gender Identity Clinic. However, in the meantime, I am still stuck feeling like a fake trans. I have tried dressing exclusively in “men’s” clothing (and I do use quotation marks for the emphasis that the only thing that makes them men’s clothes is that they are cut for people with slim hips and flat chests) and I felt ridiculous. Like a kid when they put on their mum’s high heels and lipstick in an attempt to be a grown-up.  Now, ...

On The Subject Of Miscarriage (Unfinished)

Content warnings for baby loss, miscarriage, and surgery: An unfinished exploration into my feelings surrounding my miscarriage in October 2018 I'm not quite sure when it all set in, that the life inside me was no more. But I remember the conformation of what I had known for the past four weeks of my pregnancy was something of a relief. As I lay on the hospital bed in the scan room, clutching at my husband's hand and looking between him, my two year old, and the scan screen, I waited with baited breath for the worst.  And it came. 'I just need to get a second opinion. The baby is measuring smaller than I'd expect at this stage and I can't find a heartbeat.' There it was. As the sonographer left the room, I let out a breath, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes. 'I knew it,' I told my husband. 'I told you something was wrong.' He was quiet, holding our daughter who was looking around the room in confusion, so many things for her to get her hands ...