On The Subject Of Miscarriage (Unfinished)
Content warnings for baby loss, miscarriage, and surgery: An unfinished exploration into my feelings surrounding my miscarriage in October 2018 I'm not quite sure when it all set in, that the life inside me was no more. But I remember the conformation of what I had known for the past four weeks of my pregnancy was something of a relief. As I lay on the hospital bed in the scan room, clutching at my husband's hand and looking between him, my two year old, and the scan screen, I waited with baited breath for the worst. And it came. 'I just need to get a second opinion. The baby is measuring smaller than I'd expect at this stage and I can't find a heartbeat.' There it was. As the sonographer left the room, I let out a breath, feeling the sting of tears in my eyes. 'I knew it,' I told my husband. 'I told you something was wrong.' He was quiet, holding our daughter who was looking around the room in confusion, so many things for her to get her hands ...